Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Episode 4 - HOMO GENIOUS

DISCLAIMER: The animals appearing in this episode have been brutally treated and tortured - and I really don't care wat the animal welfare board thinks :P

All right , it took me some time to make up my mind to post this incident . REASON - it was totally embarrassing for me . But i did have a good laugh about it later.

I was traveling in a bus to home , and the crowd was unforgiving at 6:00 pm . I shoudl've taken a train , but the long walk to the MRTS station and the utterly disgraceful queue to buy a 5 rupee ticket was nothing less than repulsive . So i took a stroll to the bus stop near my campus gate.

As i was waiting , a group of girls (or women??!! couldn't really tell the difference!) came , and behind came a group of guys . Well, that isn't new is it? But , i noticed one particular guy from that group who kept away from girls (Let's call him Mr.G , G for Good) , even as the rest of his friends played SALMAN KHAN in front of the girls . Maybe "BIRDS are not always followed by FLOCKS OF SAME FEATHER", or so i thot.


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So , the bus arrived and i happened to sit beside Mr.G . He seemed to be in a happy mood , was constantly singing and kept smiling at me. I felt awkward and turned away, but his line of sight never deviated . All of a sudden, out of nowhere , he kept his hand on my legs ! And before i could write it off as sheer accident - WOHOOW! he started doin strange things . I looked at him with my mouth wide open - i was so shocked i couldn't close my mouth even after knowing that a mosquito jus entered into my digestive system . His smile got weirder !

I immediately reacted and got off the running bus , GOODBYE Mr.G(G for a three letter word- not Good) . I had a long walk back home , wondering all the while if there is a law to protect innocent guys like me (:P) from sexual harassment . I came home pretty much shaken , my parents were quite bewildered at my behaviour . As i wondered, what made Mr.G "attack" me exclusively , i washed my face and stood in front of the mirror and something struck me :

That shirt is now my favourite cleaning cloth . My parents kept asking where the shirt was - they apparently found the shirt suitable for my personality . I stopped being clean-shaven after that .

I regret my inability to star an animal in this episode - must have spoiled ur expectations after the DISCLAIMER .

By, now u wud've got the title - if not i'll give a HINT: "Solution is a HOMOGENEOUS mixture"

And to those who think i'm intolerant towards homosexuals - please comment on me after having a person of the same sex run their hands between your thighs !!!!!

See ya next episode.............

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Episode 3 - BLOKE on the water

DISCLAIMER: The following blog entry contains crude content . So , Parental Guidance is strictly prohibited!!!

After seeing my blog , one of my friends asked me the " FORMAT " for writing a blog ! So, i told him there are no rules for writing a blog . And unfortunately , he took the advice so seriously, that it resulted in a disaster of a blog in the form of this :

My sincere apologies!!

Anyways , sorry for the delay in "publishing" or "airing" - watever u want to call it - of Ep3. I just wasn't jobless enough .

I joined a summer swimming camp in my 8th grade . Now , even though my parents were kinda instrumental in my joining , it was my ambition- to be a lifeguard(!!) , that pushed me into the camp. Well, u r obviously surprised why i wud want to be a lifeguard . The reason was simple , Bollywood movies ! I hope u r familiar how in a typical bollywood movie , the hero saves the heroine from drowning ? (long story short i wanted a girlfriend !!)

So , it was the first day of the camp , and i was on the constant lookout for emergencies !! But , once the training started , my worsht (spelled with the "h") fears came true . Even being in the baby pool , i was in a constant fear of getting drowned in the "3 feet deep pool". Finally , after 5 days of coaching , i got over my POOLOPHOBIA , and cud keep myself afloat in water .

So, one fine day (turned out to be a bad one), i came earlier than everyone else to practice , and saw a girl drowning !! So , i gathered all my courage and took a dive .Unfortunately , i landed on her directly and what followed was a flurry of bad words , which to this day , i haven't found the meaning of . It happened so, that she was a professional swimmer trying to hold her breath for a good amount of time , which i happened to "misinterpret" .

I was feeling kinda feeling low(actually i was feeling "drowned") but what followed was a very interesting incident . There was a guy who already knew swimming , and used to show off in front of all the girls (ya , it was none of my business) . So , one of us (NOT ME!!) went off the hook and pulled his shorts jus before he dived , and the result - shorts outside water and him inside!!! What followed were peals of laughter (of the guys) and screeching screams (of the girls) . I decline to describe the scene any further !!!

And , after that i never wanted to step in that water again (who wud want that water to get into their mouths , after witnessing the bizarre incident) . I never went for swimming again - either because of the fear of losing my shorts , or jumping on a professional swimmer , i dunno for sure.

But i learnt an important lesson that day - i have wasted 10 mins of your time by posting a completely untrue story , and have made you mad at me!! But life goes on ..................

/*No ads this time , Because of ads-men strike!!

And one of my friends after seeing my previous post was curious to know ,wat the climax of the love story 2007 - in the seat behind me - was like . Too bad , i din't even stay till the interval of the film , because it was worse than the film on-screen.

Another of my friends , had a problem with the number of exclamation marks in my blog - he feels it's too much .Well , this is for him :

And , by the way , the title is a reference to the song "SMOKE ON THE WATER" by Deep purple.

So , see ya next episode !