Sunday, June 22, 2008

Episode 2 - I AM LEGEND.......................wait for it!!!...............................DARY!!!!!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: The characters in this post are purely non-fictious , any resemblance to real life characters is purely intentional.

NO! This isn't about Barney!

All right !!!!!!!!! Wat's wit zombie movies ???????????? There is no logic whatsoever in them . They probably got ideas from rabid dogs - which bite and transmit their disease and tendency to bite totally unsuspecting people !!!!!!!! Man-eaters are generally related with lions , etc . But watching a man eat man is the grossest thing to see .

Well i dunno whether i lost my mind - but i made the mistake of watching I AM LEGEND (ya.. i am) in a theater on the 30th day !! The following things caught my notice :

1.Theater was so empty - so there was virtually no one to throw up on whenever a really sick scene comes up!

2.The guy 2 seats next to me was talking to his girlfriend (i guess) - he was giving live commentary of the film (except for the part where WILL flexes his muscles!!)

3.I had a sore throat and had to pop in some cough syrup . Some guy who saw it thought i was drinking packaged blood and gave me a weird look!!

Well it was not a really pleasing experience . Well , i prepared myself to enjoy(!!!) the movie . But having seen zombie movies before and being familiar with "OMEGA MAN" , i was deprived of that privilege too .

Before i continue , the ratings for my blog have gone up , so there will be ads in between . See ya , after the break !!

/*I've commented this part so as to make clear this isn't part of the blog.

This is Dianna , the director of ORKUT.COM . You have to forward the link of this blog to at least 100 people . Or your account will self-destruct 10 mins after you have read this!!!!!!!

*/

Welcome back after the break !

During the interval , i was aching to go to the restroom because i was completely "pissed". I also lost my appetite due to certain scenes . I overheard a guy and his girlfriend talking how gr8 the movie was !!!! When the girl went to take her popcorn , i slowly asked the guy "DUDE!! Seriously haven't you watched good films at all??!". The guy replied,"My previous girlfriend broke up with me cause i made fun of Will Smith while watching this same movie on the first day!!! i'm not taking any chances!".

All right !! Ground rules for guys dating - NEVER EVER make fun of your girlfriend's favorite actor !! Cause they are like their imaginary spouses!!!!!!!!! (Sorry girls !! I'm jus exaggerating to make it more interesting.)

So , since i paid 100 bucks (FACT: Salman Khan wouldn't like the word BUCK since all he has is BLACK money , so 100 bucks is actually 100 BLACK BUCKS for him - that's too much for him to kill!! ) i decided to take the plunge and see the rest of the movie.

Unfortunately , the couple whom i encountered earlier sat behind me , by then they had lost interest in the movie (why not!!) and got interested in themselves . They didn't notice me since i had sank into my chair ! I felt happy for the guy . I thot "Gr8 going dude ! Truly, where there is WILL Smith , thr is a way" . I quietly slipped onto the next row .

That just wasn't my day , as i sat next to the guy who saw me drinking "BLOOD" . I kept quite for a while . He suddenly broke the silence and told me , 'This movie is KICKASS!!". I was ready to kick his ass !!!!! But then it was the scene where WILL says "You take the cure for the disease , i'm destined to die". And out of nowhere the whole theater (not more than 100 people) started applauding!!!! WHAT THE HECK!!!!!!! I'm surrounded by WILL SMITH FANS . I made a quick exit before anyone bit me and turned me into a WILL SMITH fan!!!!!!!

To all WILL SMITH fans reading this (especially girls!) - i have due respect for WILL - dat's why i have typed his name in caps everywhere!! This film was not in my best views - that's why i thrashed it !! WILL you pls excuse me????!!!!!!

......................................................

Facts from my previous blog post : There was no girl who i saw in spencers so that i make myself clear to all the girls reading my blog - I'm open to new relationships :P.

And to all my friends who questioned my credibility as a BBC - i jus wanna tell them that i still exist as BBC with a different full form which i decline to translate here!!!!!!!!!


And please follow episodes sequentially - it'll help me co-ordinate better with you :P

Friday, June 20, 2008

Episode 1 - From the flying plane on to the wire

Well, you obviously din't understand the title !! It's a morphed version of "From the frying pan ,into the fire" - and the wire was carrying a large current . That's me!! Well when i made it thro JEE - i guess i was more relieved than happy - Why? Well school was hell for me for the following reasons:

1.My school was against IIT because they thot they were a better institution than IIT!
2.I had to draw time out of thin air for going to my JEE classes.
3.I was going through depressions often
4.I had taken a vow of ABSTINANCE for 2 years (refer to story of the film "40 days and 40 nights")

And by now you would have figured out i'm none other than "Peter Parker" living in chennai -
1.nerdy
2. crazy and
3.most importantly short of words to write my third characteristic

So i guess half the girls wud have decided to stop reading by now - wait !!!!!! Don't stop - i have SIX PACK abs (wat i mean is please have mercy on me!!!!) .

So - IIT it is , luck has shone on me!!!!! Little did i know that it was the UV rays of the sunshining on me ......................

Well - sorry for boring you with my metaphorical speech -but wat the heck!!! i'm writing a blog!!!!

There were certain consequences of my 2 years of living dead (again - referring to the film "Night of Living dead")

1. I lost my ability to talk to girls - totally!!!!!! In fact i started living under the impression that i'll live as a bachelor . As a result i was named BBC (Bala BrahmaChari) on my first day in IIT . And that would explain the "Welcome to BBC's network on the top".

2. I was utterly boring in my talk (you must have the impression tht i still am!)

3. I became compalcent (got a JEE rank of 267 - who wudn't)

4.Lost my perseverance

5.I was wearing thick glasses

And all of it happened so gradually that i din't notice it . Life was so dull and slow . All the spice was gone . But then , one day i met a girl at spencers ............


AND THAT MY CHILDREN IS HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!

To be continued...........................................................................................................

If anybody cares about my real name - it is ..... pah! even i don't care!!!

Yours Wrathfully
Raghunandan.S (ya tht's my name and i do care :P)